Sample of Page-By-Page Script Notes For a
Sitcom ("Coach") (Cont'd Page 2)
PAGE 7: Here’s
a suggestion to make the dialogue even more witty.
HAYDEN
You always talk to yourself on the phone?
LUTHER
Sure. Saves on long
distance.
PAGE 8: Hayden
is hot-tempered and volatile, which you can reveal in these changes in his dialogue. Note how
these dialogue changes produce humor because he overreacts and also contradicts himself.
HAYDEN
I don't believe this. My
assistant
coach called a psychic for a game plan.
LUTHER
Well, it worked didn't it?
HAYDEN
I can’t-- (REALIZING)... Yeah.
It did.
LUTHER
(SHOWING THE RECEIVER IN HIS HAND)
You want me to hang up?
HAYDEN
Yes. (QUICKLY)
No! I don't know!
We've got to win tomorrow to stay in
the season. I guess it
wouldn't hurt
to just see what he says.
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