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This
week's answer:
Ending
the "Ending" Problem
I
really want to answer you, Ginny, but it’s such a
tedious process to just type and type and type, never
knowing when I’m going to get to the end of this
column. Then there's the column proofing and
column polishing processes, not to mention having to
sign my name again for the umpteenth time. (Have
you ever wondered how big an "ump" is? I
ponder that question daily. At least umpteen times
a day.)
Actually,
I think it’s thinking about the end of your screenplay
that could be driving you bonkers.
The end will come on its own accord.
But, when you look for your end, it will ALWAYS
elude you. (If you think about that in another way
and try it, you may feel like a dog chasing its
tail. I'm not recommending it; just mentioning
it.) It’s like driving to a place you’ve never
been to and how long that can feel, when it feels like
such a shorter time when you drive back the very same
distance, which doesn’t mean read your screenplay
backwards – unless, maybe, you’re trying to write
another “Memento” and you want us all to hold our
breaths until “FADE IN” instead of “FADE OUT.”
And if you were fully reading your screenplay
backwards, the final word would be “NI EDAF,” which
could be some ancient mantra from India or China or
Egypt that
means “Don’t worry about the end.”
But,
if you’re an “end worrier,” as many screenwriters
are, you can always write the end of your screenplay so
you can say, “I’m already at the end” to yourself
and others who ask you, “How’s that screenplay
coming?” Your
jubilant answer:
“I’m already at the end.”
Just
don’t mention that you haven’t started it yet.
(Don't anybody write me until
tomorrow, please. I'm going to be chanting
"NI EDAF" all day.)
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