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Screenwriting Help E-Mail (Previous)

Updated every Monday, one selected e-mail will be posted and answered here each week. With many years of experience in the film and television business, I look forward to providing answers to your questions about screenwriting or the entertainment industry in general.  Please send your e-mailed questions to: Script Advisor.  You may also wish to visit our Screenwriting Help E-Mails - The Archives.

This week's question: 

DcH, I don't mean to be cranky, but it's already May and I haven't even gotten a bite on any of my scripts.  Can you advise me?

Brian 


This week's Answer: 

"Salefishing"

Brian, I know your situation can be extremely perturbing, but take heart:  I do have a few suggestions (don't I always?).  To start off, Brian, you might want to start using a different kind of bait when you're angling.  I've heard many horror stories (not to be confused with "horror scripts") about fishermen setting out for a pleasant day of yanking fish out of the water to measure them or eat them or just talk about how big the ones were that got away, and finding themselves wishing they had never set out in the first place after trying to snag a big one by using screenplays as bait.  But, if you insist on using screenplay bait (or "script bait" as it is better known, especially in  parts of Texas, Virginia, and states south of Virginia -- but not Florida), be sure to use comedies, being that they're usually somewhere between 90 and 100 pages, which will keep your line from being weighed down too much.  A heavy (figuratively, and, in this case, literally speaking) drama can definitely break your rod.

And, Brian and anyone else reading this grand epistle, don't worry that we're in May now and you still may not have heard from anybody concerning the sale of your screenplay.  Just be thankful that you don't live in Estonia (or some country near there) where screenwriters not only have to wait years and years to hear from producers, but, during the velting season (you can Google "velt" in case you're not aware of the velting seaon), not only do screenwriters not get paid for their screenplays, but, are expected to pay the producers!  Can you imagine that!?  So, if I were you, I'd thank my lucky stars.  At least you're not paying for not selling your screenplays.  So, my advice to you is to relax, keep writing.  Maybe take a little vacation and go fishing.  And bring your screenplays with you.  

Just make sure you only bring the comedies.

DcH                                                                   related cartoon

 

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