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This week's Answer:
"Salefishing" Brian,
I know your situation can be extremely perturbing, but
take heart: I do have a few suggestions (don't I
always?). To start off, Brian, you might want to
start using a different kind of bait when you're
angling. I've heard many horror stories (not to be
confused with "horror scripts") about fishermen
setting out for a pleasant day of yanking fish out of the
water to measure them or eat them or just talk about how
big the ones were that got away, and finding themselves
wishing they had never set out in the first place after
trying to snag a big one by using screenplays as
bait. But, if you insist on using screenplay bait
(or "script bait" as it is better known,
especially in parts of Texas, Virginia, and states
south of Virginia -- but not Florida), be sure to use
comedies, being that they're usually somewhere between 90
and 100 pages, which will keep your line from being
weighed down too much. A heavy (figuratively, and,
in this case, literally speaking) drama can definitely
break your rod.
And, Brian and anyone else reading
this grand epistle, don't worry that we're in May now and
you still may not have heard from anybody concerning the
sale of your screenplay. Just be thankful that you
don't live in Estonia (or some country near there) where
screenwriters not only have to wait years and years to
hear from producers, but, during the velting season (you
can Google "velt" in case you're not aware of
the velting seaon), not only do screenwriters not get paid
for their screenplays, but, are expected to pay the
producers! Can you imagine that!? So, if I
were you, I'd thank my lucky stars. At least you're
not paying for not selling your screenplays.
So, my advice to you is to relax, keep writing.
Maybe take a little vacation and go fishing. And
bring your screenplays with you.
Just make sure you only bring the
comedies.
DcH
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