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Screenwriting Help E-Mail (Previous)

Updated every Monday, one selected e-mail will be posted and answered here each week. With many years of experience in the film and television business, I look forward to providing answers to your questions about screenwriting or the entertainment industry in general.  Please send your e-mailed questions to: Script Advisor.  You may also wish to visit our Screenwriting Help E-Mails - The Archives.

This week's question: 

DcH, how can I think about my script when the tax man is knocking on my door?

Distraught


This week's Answer: 

Screenwriting Without Being "KNOCKED" Around

I appreciate the question, Distraught.  (Are you, by any chance, related to the  Dattraught family?  Just checking.  I hear the Distraughts and the Dattraughts are still feuding.  Imagine that.)  I know it does take a disciplined mind to continually return one's screenplay even when the taxman isn't knocking on your door.  The knocking, alone, can take you off your game.  (Although, I grew up in a little room over a door factory and heard test knocking all day and night, so, when I feel distracted and can't seem to get back to writing my screenplay, I pay neighborhood children to knock on my door for hours on end to help relax me, remembering my own childhood and those wonder knocking years.)  But, since you apparently don't have the same background, I can see how that knocking could affect you.  What to do, What to do?  I've got it.  Put a sign on your front door (the outside side) that reads:

NO KNOCKING

Or, if you have a doorbell, the sign could read:

PLEASE RING THE BELL

Or, if you don't have a bell and you don't want any knocking, it could read:

PLEASE GO AWAY.  ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A TAXMAN

Or you could use a sign that you can buy from my online store (which doesn't exist, but could if I keep getting this brilliant merchandizing ideas) that reads:

SCREENWRITER AT WORK

That should definitely do it.  Taxman don't want to have to deal with screenwriters.  But, just in case you want to make a stronger statement, this one always works well:

BEWARE OF SCREENWRITER

Now you can screenwrite in peace.  And always remember to capitalize "KNOCKED."  It is a sound, after all.

And a beautiful one, at that.

DcH 

 

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