Derek, I appreciate your e-mail. I'm not sure what's
wrong with Annapolis. I haven't been there. (I'm more marine
and army and coastguard than navy. I like green and brown better than
blue.) But if you're referring to the recent film, Annapolis, and
are inquiring what is wrong with the script of the same, I shall do my
best. Answer: Just about everything. Well, maybe not everything.
Almost everything. How's that?
The main problem (and it's a big main problem) is
that there is absolutely nothing -- I repeat:
nothing
new in this story.
Nothing. And, if anything has a semblance of newness, it's probably only
cunningly appearing new while all along it's actually not. My question is,
"Did the writer just take "An Officer and a Gentleman," drain all
the life and color out of it, mix in a little faux The Dear Hunter dreary
environs, a dash of Rocky, and actually expect us to swallow this
sentimental and superficial tale?" Just how did the meeting with the
writer and producer go? Maybe it went something like this:
Producer: I like the
story. But we're going to need a minority guy who is fat and can't make
the grade.
Writer: Great idea, C.B.
Producer: He can pal up
with the leading guy who wears white in the end and graduates to the next level
at Annapolis.
Writer: Love it.
Producer: Have the fat,
minority guy not pass his final physical test and be so upset that he commits
suicide.
Writer: Uh... That's
already been done.
Producer: Yeah, but this
guy will commit suicide and live!
Writer: Perfect.
What else should I write?
Producer: Well, you're
going to need the proverbial misunderstanding father who will finally, in the
end, understand.
Writer: I understand.
Producer: And a female
officer who falls in love with the lead, who doesn't want to fight in the ring,
but finally does even though the story opens with him fighting in the ring.
Writer. Excellent.
That'll confuse 'em.
Producer. Yes, it
will. And that's exactly what we want..... Hmmmm. Annapolis.
Nobody knows what or where that is. That's a problem for the younger
demographic.
Writer: True.
Producer. I know.
Let's, instead, call it "Mini-Annapolis."
Writer: Brilliant!
And the sequel will be called, "Maxi-Annapolis"!
Producer: Perfect.
Start on that today.
DcH
