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This week's Answer: Advertisaphobia:
The New Disease of the Twenty-first Century
Charles, I appreciate your e-mail. I did
see that show, including the computer graphic that reminded us that
that very movie would be opening soon (which I thought was very nice
of the Medium People to do so that we wouldn't forget that that movie
was going to be opening soon) and am trying to figure out exactly what
could have bothered you about that scene. Maybe you're just a
little too anxious and therefore overly sensitive to corporate
advertising. I suggest that you just sit back and have a
refreshing drink  or maybe
take a little drive  maybe to
a favorite spot  or just get
away from it all 
.
I mean, the next thing you know, you're going to
be grousing about product placement in movies (or on websites, God
forbid). I think you're being a little nearsighted here. We
need more
Hummers on our streets (the price of gas went down several pennies
lately if you haven't noticed). Capitalism makes everything run
smoothly (like a well-tuned Mazda or a United Airways plane) and
everybody should buy whatever
electronics and cars and other products that are indicated by the
logos and the products themselves that we see in movies and on
TV. (Did you ever wonder why we say, "on TV"
and "in movies"? Why couldn't it be "in
TV" and "on movies"? That's what I would like to
know. Maybe it's because we all carry a collective
fear/paranoia/dread that any day now we're all going to be sucked into
our television sets -- and possibly be changed into high definition or
letterbox versions of ourselves -- and never return.)
So what if you can't watch a sporting event or,
for that matter, any channel (except for Turner Classic Movies --
praise to Ted Turner for having the class or at least the major money
to not hop on the advertising bandwagon -- and Lifetime Movie Network
-- praise to Mr. Lifetime for having the class... ) without being
inundated by product advertising, including the channel showing it,
with its near-subliminal flashes accompanied by nerve-jolting sound
effects that sound like somebody is cutting out your heart with Jack
the Ripper's blade. What's the big deal that you can be watching
a movie or other program on cable TV and, not only your sight is
invaded by computer-generated banners (and some very cute ones with
moving images -- I especially like it when the darling little figures
jump up and block the images you're trying to actually watch, even though you're using your remote now in a new way to
block out these wonderful "little people"), announcing the
other shows that are coming on that channel (or other channels that
are "affiliated" with that channel), but lately even the
soundtrack of what you're watching is changed by sounds created to
make you pay attention to whatever is being advertised at the
moment. I really think you, Charlie, and anybody else who is in
such a tizzy about this should just...
join the twenty-first century. 
DcH
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