This week's Answer:
Thank you for contacting me, Gina
from Kansas City. I think it's courageous of you to
feel your feelings (although I don't know what else you
can do with feelings -- except stuff them, which doesn't
sound at all pleasant and can cause constipation).
No, I don't think you're going even the least bit crazy,
Gina (but I do hear that in Kansas City they have a lot of
crazy women there...). You're being human (or you're
being a human being -- which is redundant and means you're
doing far too much being and need to do more!) and you're
present with how you're feeling about your business of
It can be and often is
frustrating (or should I say, "Frustrating!"?)
when what you want to come about doesn't come about.
Don't despair; I have a simple solution for
You know you're talented; you know you've written the Mona
Lisa of screenplays. A voice within you wants to cry
out (or sometimes does and wakes the neighbors):
someone, anyone finally recognize my genius?!
Isn't that about the size of
it? (Actually, the size is 36-point font. And
sometimes we need to think and feel in 36-point font, to
be heard, and seen, and appreciated.) But then you
might have a second thought such as:
Let me amend that last outburst: Won't someone,
anyone who is a producer or anyone who has at least a
million to invest finally recognize my genius?!
There. That's much
better. You want the recognition as being a real
"player," a successful screenwriter (and the
money that comes with said recognition). Of
course. You deserve it. You should have
it. Yes, but...
Let me amend that last amendment I made to the first
outburst: Won't someone, anyone who is a producer or
anyone who has at least a million to invest and isn't
in jail or fleeing the country finally recognize my
There. That's even
better. But wait again. Take three:
Let me amend that last amendment I made to the amendment
of the second outburst: Won't someone, anyone who is
a producer or anyone who has at least a million to invest
and isn't in jail or fleeing the country finally pay me
a whole bunch of money and buy my screenplay?!
That's all very well and good.
But I then must ask:
what happened to the part about someone recognizing your
And your only answer is...
schmenius. Just give me the cash.
You see how simple that was?