Your questions answered by a  Hollywood professional

A bit of Hollywood humor 


Screenwriting Help E-Mail (Previous)

Updated every Monday, one selected e-mail will be posted and answered here each week. With many years of experience in the film and television business, I look forward to providing answers to your questions (often with a humorous eye) about screenwriting or the entertainment industry in general.  Please send your e-mailed questions to: Script Advisor.  You may also wish to visit our Screenwriting Help E-Mails - The Archives.

This week's question: 

I don't know if I should work on my taxes or on my screenplay.  What do you suggest?

Judy from Belfast

This week's Answer: 

No Taxation without Screenplay Representation

Well, Judy, if you're certain of a box office slamaroo, then I'd forget the taxes and get that script done.  Of course, you'll need to let the Tax Man know about your six-or-more-figure deal, so, on second thought, you might want to do your taxes and prepare for your move into a higher bracket -- a very, prominent position where you become more "popular" with the Tax Man and your financial wanderings become of more importance to him.  But don't worry:  Once you've sold a script for a million or two, you can always take a lot of deductions for your screenwriting business.  For your assistance, I've included a few of them below:

Accepted Tax Deductions:

1. Printer paper

2. Printer

3. Computer

4. Monitor

5. New monitor after throwing the last one out the window when you decided your script is not good

6. Books and about screenplays

7. Screenplays about books about screenplays

8. Gnawed pencils

9. All vehicular expenses from driving to tall bridges and buildings

10. Phone calls to your agent

11. Phone calls to your psychiatrist about your agent

12. Phone calls to yourself to tell you that your script is no good.

13. Band Aids used to cover paper cuts from crumpling screenplays

14. The section of your residence used exclusively to have tantrums about your screenwriting career.

15. Screenplay workshops, screenplay classes, and all underground meetings for planning the extermination of agents, producers, and other personnel engaged in giving you a hard time in the film industry

I purposely left screenwriting software off the list as a deduction.  Even the IRS knows that everybody illegally downloads the stuff.  Don't get audited for that.



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