Your questions answered by a  Hollywood professional

A bit of Hollywood humor 


Screenwriting Help E-Mail (Previous)

Updated every Monday, one selected e-mail will be posted and answered here each week. With many years of experience in the film and television business, I look forward to providing answers to your questions about screenwriting or the entertainment industry in general.  Please send your e-mailed questions to: Script Advisor.  You may also wish to visit our Screenwriting Help E-Mails - The Archives.

This week's question: 

I'm trying to decide whether I should take up screenwriting or weightlifting.  What do you think I should do?

Stuart from England

This week's Answer: 


Now that's an interesting dilemma, Stuart, and I'm glad you posed it to me.  (If you were already weightlifting, you might be doing a different kind of posing.)  I think I get that same question four or five times a week:  Weightlifting or Screenwriting.  Which direction should I go in?  I came to those very crossroads -- weightlifting or screenwriting:  what will I do? -- came to that fork in the road where I had to choose one path and look down the "road not taken," as they say (actually, I think "they" were highway workers and "they" were glad to not have to take a road.  Less work Since they were highway workers, maybe they saw it as "My way or the highway."  Maybe the phrase should be, "My way or the highway not taken."  It's hard to tell.  

I guess you could say that both vocations have their plusses and minuses.  Weightlifting builds up your muscles and endurance, while screenwriting builds your literary "muscles" and endurance.  I guess it depends which skill is more important to you now.  Hey, maybe you don't have to choose one over the other and you can combine them and lift screenplays!  (Scripts can seem pretty "heavy" at times.  Especially those that are over 120 pages.)   You'd be a...


What an anomaly you would be.  A screenplaylifter.  You could join a circus.  People would come from miles around.  Hurry, hurry, hurry!  Step right up, ladies and gentlemen; step right up!  See the greatest screenplaylifter in the land!  You could get strong while being involved with scripts.  It's perfect!  Or maybe you could bypass the circus circuit and just go into training and enter screenplaylifting tournaments.  You'd be up there on stage, matching your prowess against other screenplaylifters.  Possibly screenplaylifting could become an Olympic sport!  

The Crowd, now in a frenzy, SHOUTS AND YELLS towards the rafters.

ANNOUNCER 1:    Oh, My.  That was incredible.  This is huge, Bill.  Really HUGE!

ANNOUNCER 2:  I know what you mean, Stan.  (beat) What do you mean, Stan?

ANNOUNCER 1:  I mean the crowd loves this screenplaylifter, Stuart, from England!  Just listen to them!

The crowd goes suddenly quiet.

ANNOUNCER 2:  I don't hear anything.

ANNOUNCER 1:  Uh... well... You know what I mean.

ANNOUNCER: 2:  Sure, sure.  (beat)  What do you mean, Stan?

ANNOUNCER 1:   I mean... didn't you just love Stuart's last lift?  The way he pressed those 65 "Water World" scripts.  Amazing!  Incredible!  That's HUGE!

ANNOUNCER 2:  Right you are, Stan.  And he didn't fall down from boredom, either.

The Crowd SCREAMS for more.  

ANNOUNCER 1:  Just look at his scores, Bill:  9.5... 9.6... 9.6... and... a perfect 10!



P.S.  And, yes, I am a computer graphic artist.  Really.


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